08/04: Norris Settles Score; Offs Mustache During Sleep
Posted by: Patrick
Peter Abraham reports that Jason Giambi has shaved his Mustache off, after his recent struggles at the plate. But, wait, there's more.
He cites anonymous sources, which we have learned to be Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris' Fist. Norris, in a jealous rage, snuck up on Jason Giambi's Mustache last night, while It was sleeping - and shaved It off. Witnesses report screams and fierce battle between Norris and the 'Stache, after It noticed that It was being murdered, with only three hairs remaining. The three hairs almost defeated Norris, but he managed a sucker punch and finished them with one fail swoop.
Norris' jealousy stems from the fact that the Mustache's toughness had overshadowed his own. Giambi has vowed to dedicate the remainder of this season to his Mustache.
He cites anonymous sources, which we have learned to be Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris' Fist. Norris, in a jealous rage, snuck up on Jason Giambi's Mustache last night, while It was sleeping - and shaved It off. Witnesses report screams and fierce battle between Norris and the 'Stache, after It noticed that It was being murdered, with only three hairs remaining. The three hairs almost defeated Norris, but he managed a sucker punch and finished them with one fail swoop.
Norris' jealousy stems from the fact that the Mustache's toughness had overshadowed his own. Giambi has vowed to dedicate the remainder of this season to his Mustache.
